One word answers, and how to get more

Jul 15, 2025
2 min read

It’s the classic parent-kid exchange:

You: “How was your day?” Them: “Fine.” You: “What did you do?” Them: “Stuff.”

And just like that, the conversation’s dead before it even began.

For many dads, one of the hardest parts of parenting isn’t the lack of sleep or the constant negotiating over snacks. It’s figuring out how to actually connect with your kids in a way that feels real. You want to know what’s going on in their world. You want them to talk to you. But you can’t force it.

So how do you build the kind of connection where your kid wants to talk to you, not just now, but for the long haul?

Start With This: Communication Isn’t Just Talking

The secret isn’t having the right questions. It’s building the right environment.

Kids don’t open up because you ask perfectly crafted questions. They open up when they feel:

Safe
Seen
Not judged
Not interrogated

And most of all when they feel like you’re genuinely listening.

Try This Instead: Two Actionable Dad Moves

1. Listen Like a Rock

We mean really listen. That means:

Stop what you're doing (even if it’s just for a minute, they can tell when you're half-there).
Get on their level — literally if they’re younger and smaller, crouch.
Don’t interrupt, correct, or jump in with solutions. Just be the rock. Steady. Unshakable. There.

Try this: Instead of “How was school?”, try:

“What was something that made you smile today?”

Or:

“If today was a colour, what colour would it be, and why?”

These questions make kids pause and think. You might just get more than a shrug.

2. Share First, Invite Second

Sometimes, kids don’t talk because they’re unsure if you really talk. Vulnerability from you builds trust from them.

Try this: At dinner or bedtime, say:

“Something that was tricky for me today was…” Then follow it with: “Did anything feel tricky for you today?”

This isn’t about dumping your adult problems on them. It’s about modelling honesty. You go first. That’s leadership. That’s connection. Kids don't do what we say, they do what we do.

The Big Idea: Conversations Are Built, Not Extracted

If your kid isn’t talking much, don’t panic. It’s not a sign of failure. Some kids open up easily. Others need time, trust, and 100 tiny moments of showing up consistently.

So keep showing up. In the car. At bedtime. On the walk to school. While building Lego. While chopping veggies. Kids open up sideways, when they’re doing something else, when the pressure’s off.